(1st turn in) ICW: The Park

I never thought I’d be here today. I thought they would never find out, but here I am, sitting alone on the swings. I have been afraid of what they would do if they found out, and I hoped I would have the courage to stand up for myself, but here I am running away from my problems. It took me off guard when I came home with Samantha, my best friend and secret girlfriend, and was bombarded with questions and screams. My mom was even crying too. It took me a little while to realize what was happening and once I did, my world came crashing down.

It’s not like I haven’t had a good life. My parents have always been here for me and supported me through everything so I guess I just hoped they would accept this. I can’t help the fact that I’m gay. No one can. I also can’t help that they are conservative and are strong to their beliefs. They have never voiced bad opinions about gay marriage or relationships, but they also never supported it either. What will I do if they don’t support me and leave me to fend for myself? I don’t make much working at the animal shelter. Yeah, It makes me happy helping all those animals, but I barely make it by with my parents help. I need them, emotionally and physically.

The park seemed to be the best option for me after coming home to upset parents. I immediately took Sam home, telling her I would resolve this and let her know what’s going to happen. She was pretty upset with me but I didn’t care about anything but being alone and forgetting for a while. I don’t want to leave her. She is my world and my first true relationship. I can’t let my parents ruin that, even if they don’t support me. I know she wanted to help me, but I just wanted to be alone and think.

When I got to the park, it was thankfully empty and I am able to sit alone and cry. I don’t want sympathy from anyone, I just want to figure out my emotions and gain some courage to go back home and stand my ground. The swings looks the most inviting, and the movement always calms me. Ever since I was little, swings always calmed me down. I have no idea why, but it does.

Right when the tears started rolling down my cheeks, a hand grabbed my shoulder and startled me.

“Wanda, are you okay?” Said the female.

I remember this girl. Her name is Drew. I met her when I went to a frat party and a bunch of minors showed up. She was a freshman in High School at the time and was just trying to fit in. Drew had been drinking pretty heavily, trying to keep up with her heavy weight boyfriend. Before she knew it, Drew was on the ground, dry heaving and crying from how the alcohol was affecting her. I got her to trust me and ended up taking her to her parent’s home and helped her inside. Ever since then, I told her to call me whenever she needed someone to take her home from a party and I would help her. I get a call every once and awhile from Drew when she wants to talk. She hasn’t called for a ride home yet. I just hope she hasn’t gone back to any crazy parties.

“No, honestly. I don’t know what to do, Drew.” I saw with as much sincerity as I can muster.

“Me either. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“My parents found out I’m gay. I came home to them screaming and upset and I just ran here. They are super conservative and have never voiced support for gays. I need them, though. They help pay for bills and get food in my belly.” I get out between my sobs.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to help you. Have you thought about what you are going to do?”

“I thought about just going home and standing my ground no matter what happens. I can’t help this, so I can’t let them walk all over me.”

“That might be what’s best for you, Wanda”

“Enough about me, what’s up with you?”

“I want to be an astrophysicist and I was just rejected from a space camp and found out I have an ear deformity. I can’t even go into space because of my ear so how am I going to be an astrophysicist?”

“Wow, that’s not what I expected. Have you talked to someone who works for NASA? There may be something that you can do without going up into space.”

“I haven’t yet, but I hope I can sometime. I still have a year left of High School so I have time.”

We sit in silence for awhile, and it’s actually pretty nice. I know she will support me through anything, and that makes me so much more confident. I have people behind me, and if my parents aren’t, well then that’s okay. I can do this. Nothing can stop what I feel and I can live without them. Sam offered her home to me as well. We have been together for awhile so I think it will be okay if we move in together. With these thoughts, I have finally mustered up enough confidence and decided to get up and go home.

“I’m gonna go home and deal with this. I wish you the best with your plans and call me if you need to talk. See you later, Drew.” I say, trying to sound as confident as possible.

“Alright, good luck. Call me and tell me what happens.” She says with happiness.

I walk to my car, put the key in, and point the tires toward home. No matter what they say, I have a home to go to either way and I have a job to support me. I can do anything. No one will stop me. I need this for me and not anyone else.

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